You made it to the final rest stop. I’m glad you didn’t get weary along the way. Now, let’s go all the way to the finish line.
Chemistry. That’s usually the first thing that attracts us to him. He talks well, he smells good, and “he sho’ nuff fine”—that’s chemistry. You went to dinner, to the movies, and you jived—that’s chemistry.
In a study conducted by the group, Waiting Till Marriage, about 3% of Americans wait until marriage to have sex (successfully). Waiting Till Marriage.org That number is pretty alarming to say the least, but believable.
In 2014, The Austin Institute For the Study of Family & Culture wrote an article titled, “Divorce in America: Who Wants Out and Why?” based on a survey on “Relationships in America.” This survey cited the number one reason for divorce among women as, “emotional abuse,” and among men, “spouse unresponsive to needs.”
What does this mean? Most men relate sex to love. As women, we are wired differently than men. We relate love to cuddling, walks along the beach, security in knowing the mortgage is paid, and safety in believing we can trust our husband to do the right thing when he leaves the house. Positioned for Purpose, When Boaz Calls
3 Ways To Ignite The Chemistry In Your Marriage
“It takes two to make a thing go right. It takes two to make it out of sight.” That’s a song from Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock, which was released in 1988. Why do I know that, because I was jamming to it way back then (smile). That song was true back in 1988 and still holds true today. Why, because it does take two people for a relationship to go right or wrong. Chemistry consists of three things.
Yes, I love me some picnics. Follow along dear sister. You must read until the end.
You can show your spouse you care for him in many ways. You can show care by cooking him dinner; fixing his plate; washing his clothes and even rubbing his feet after a long hard day’s work. Yes, these are simple ways of showing a man how much you care.
I know you’re probably saying, “My husband does not like to cuddle.” Well, have you ever asked him? And if you have and he said no, how about you try this. First, make sure you have the TV remote control near you. Secondly, say, “Honey, come sit next to me, I want to talk to you.” Now, what loving husband would refuse to sit next to his caring wife? None that I know of. Once you have him sitting on the couch next to you, say, “Honey, let me rub your feet.” The average man will not refuse a foot massage and neither can he resist one. Now that you have him sitting next to you and you’re rubbing his feet, you now have control of his “will” and the TV. So, feel free to turn to your favorite girly movie (smile). You are now cuddling with your husband. I read a study that says cuddling does these things:
Notice, I did not say GO on a picnic, I said HAVE a picnic. Why? He supplies the hotdog, and you supply the bun and “make it do what it do” (smile) .
Don’t allow your bedroom to become the boredroom!
Get it? Bored room, the room where nothing happens or the room where it only happens once a week. You’ve got to keep your husband sexually excited about coming home to you. Most men are visual—if it’s appealing to his eyes, he wants it. Stop putting the scarf on your head every night. Sometimes, go to bed without rollers in your hair. Take off those hot flannel pajamas and put on that sexy negligée. Whew, he won’t be able to stand it! A man wants to be excited to come home and if he believes he has something hot and sexy waiting for him, he’ll come right home after work every night.
If you are not creating an environment for your spouse to enjoy coming home to then I must put up the stop sign and ask you to pray this prayer with me: Father, I pray that you would rekindle passion and desire between me and my spouse. Heal any emotional wounds we may have caused one another. I believe you will restore the passion in our marriage, and I ask it in the name of Jesus, Amen.
If you understand the importance of creating a caring environment for your spouse, and you see the love that comes with doing something as simple as cuddling then your Chemistry mission is fully possible. How often do you have picnics with your spouse? Is it as often as he desires or only when you feel up to it? Most men have a higher sex drive than women and something I’ve learned over the years—they plump when you cook em (smile). Yes, that’s right. When you heat up the hot dog, the bigger it gets the more you will enjoy having picnics with your spouse. He supplies the hotdog, and you supply the bun. I know you already have this part of your relationship on lock down and because you do, your Chemistry mission is fully possible.
Dr. Patricia Shaw, Master Relationship Coach
Helping women get clear about what they want, gain confidence to receive it, while staying committed to their values so they can succeed in life and love.