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Dating can reduce the most confident people to a quivering mess of nerves. Dating can make a person feel like they’re on display and burdened with the uncomfortable task of impressing the other person. This doesn’t just sound miserable, it actually is. However, it doesn’t have to be this way.

Dating is a great opportunity to get out of the house and spend time with someone new that you have chosen to spend your precious time with. That someone might become the most important person in your life! Unfortunately, if your dating confidence is low, you might miss out on a great opportunity.

Dating ought to be fun and easy. With a positive mindset, you can look forward to your dates and have a better chance of making a connection. Confidence comes from experience, so take every opportunity to get out there and spend time with someone new. You have a lot to offer the right person and nothing to lose!

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MY DISCLAIMER

I say that I know these tips work! Even though I’ve been married for nearly 30 years, I will add that 1.  I have single family members that I’ve coached off the dating merry-go-round who are now in a healthy marriage.  2.  I have clients I have coached in their marriages that went from “why did I get married” to “I love him and wouldn’t trade him for the world.” 3.  These seven tips only work if you work them.

Otherwise errr um what I’m saying is, you can’t sit at home and expect to meet a great man.  It is possible that can happen, but highly doubtful.

You’ve spent many years praying and asking God to send you a Godly husband, now, how about participating or taking action.  Remember, faith without works is dead!

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Try these tips to boost your dating confidence and show the world you’re a great catch because YOU are!

  1. Avoid playing to win. Most people go on a date with the goal of making the other person like them. It’s almost like a game to see if they can get another date. However, getting another date might be a bad idea. It’s not a competition where you win or lose each time you step out the door.

2 .Be prepared. Nothing will ruin your confidence like realizing that your favorite shirt is in the dirty laundry pile, you’re running late, or you’re not even sure where you’re going. Be prepared. 

  • Give yourself plenty of time to get ready.
  • Ensure you have your outfit picked out at least the day before.
  • Be clear on where you’re going, how to get there, and how long it will take.
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3.  Get lots of practice. If you only date once a month, it will be challenging to ever maximize your confidence and comfort level. Instead, set up a bunch of casual dates that only take 30 minutes or so. These dates are less threatening and don’t take a lot of time.

  • Meet for coffee or lunch.
  • Meet for a quick drink/talk after work.

You can go on several dates like this each week. You’ll be more likely to find the right person, and this type of date is less stressful than the typical big Saturday night date.

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4.  Use a date to decide if you want another date. The purpose of a date should be to have a nice time and to get to know the other person. A date is used to decide if you want another date. This takes the pressure off trying to be impressive. It’s a much more relaxing perspective.

5.  Remember that the date will be easy if you’re with the right person. Most of us believe we have to suffer in some way to get something good. Like if you want a fancy car or a vacation to London, you might have to scrimp and save for a year to make it happen. You shouldn’t have to suffer to find the right person for you. At least at the beginning, things will feel natural and easy.

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6.  Remind yourself of your positive qualities. When heading out for a date, we often think about our shortcomings and deficiencies. Now is not the time for that type of thinking. You’ll put yourself into a mental state that won’t be attractive. Instead, remind yourself about all your strengths and positive qualities.

7.  Understand that you have everything to gain and nothing to lose. There is nothing truly lost on a bad date other than a little time and maybe a little money. However, you have everything to gain. It’s an ideal situation in many ways.

THE CHALLENGE

Leave a comment, share this blog with a friend, and then join a sisterhood of Regal Women who are glowing and growing in life and love.  

Dr. Patricia Shaw, Certified Professional Coach
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Dr. Patricia Shaw, Certified Professional Coach

Teaching women who struggle to move forward in life and love how to go from burnedout and overwhelmed to living a liberated life. Overflowing with confidence, beaming with clarity, grounded in a commitment to who they are.

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